Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
