are you so shy because you have an std?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
