You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
