Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
