Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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