Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Nicole vs. Life
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
