Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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