Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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