Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
