There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
