who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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