Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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