happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
mondays should just be called national damage control day
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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