the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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