i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
