i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
