I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
