I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
