so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
