Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
send nudes
from the living room?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize