All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
