i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
