OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
