I'm so fucking centered right now
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
