Can Purell be used as lube?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
