The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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