Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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