dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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