Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
