Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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