i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
