I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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