I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
BRING THE BAGELS
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
