Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
