you're like a bully in the Christmas story
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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