would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
