nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
