somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
