i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
