Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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