Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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