Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize