When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
