You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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