This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize