Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
