all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
