I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize