I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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