just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize