i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
