did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
