I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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