NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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