There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
