the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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