is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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