How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
