he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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