wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
