and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
