How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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