It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
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