his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
