Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
