She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
