So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
