you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
