I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize