He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The Olympian is in my bed
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize