we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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