i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
