Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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