I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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